Swati ( A dear friend) has written a blog post yet again. I being the "A"
She points out several things and here i am replying again. what makes it more difficult to convince her is the fact that she has decided to be the part of what the whole market wants us to believe.
Let me start on another note,
I hate mills and boons and I always end up reading them when I am bored. or need some really mindless reading to do. i guess i need some right now, coz since I cant smoke up i need other really surreal things to do, mills and boons happens to be one of them. it so happens that on of them describes a couple (the guy being the heroine's dashing brother, and his plump, sweet wife) who left me wondering how the most handsome guys fell for the weirdest looking chicks. which by the way never happens to the hero and the heroine of a normal M&B.
And the opposite is true in a real life scenario. good looking chicks always end up being with the biggest douche to be found in the neighborhood.
It didnt matter much cause I thought if that story was tellable the author would have concentrated on it, rather than the oh-so-understated-looker-chick who goes on to find the not-so-good-but-breathtakingly-handsome & rich-man. So, I decided I need to settle for some douche coz I thought no man with brains would go out with me. And I realised (after dating a so called "good looking" douche for 2 months) that my standards are way higher, I cant settle for one of these desperate bitches who have no grey cells in any part of their body. Which made sure that there were not many choices left. Not many men (or women...before I'm blamed of being sexist) have brains to really be a match to mine (trying not to feel too smug when I say that).
----end of story----
I now date a guy who most blog friends know as stupendous man, and friends know as Shreyas, who is fatter than the that funny fat guy in the sadly funny movies. who looks more like overgrown cupid than anything else, and I'm not saying this to break up with him. he knows all this, and we joke about it most of the times. and when I say that he is looking good (romantically), he ends up reminding me what he thinks he looks like. and I'm completely in love with him. coz at the end of a bad day i wont cheer up because of what he looks like, but rather the amazing hug he can give me and talk me out of all the self deprecation i have bottled up inside. its how he makes me feel. I am sure we dont chose our friends for what they look like.
Its not wrong to look good, but that doesn't mean one takes drastic measures to suddenly decide to look like someone else who in Swati's words is "fairer and thinner" I dont get it, coz I'm neither fair nor thin. I am a five foot six with average looks and with a 36" waistline girl, who loves eating and would continue to do it. and I think I look good when I want to. I wear things I love, without being intimidated by the so called lookers I know. I have friends worth dying for, and who would do the same for me if need be. I know at least 5 men who are completely weirdly in love with me or at least have been at some points of their lives and have hopefully moved on now.
And if that doesnt make me feel good about myself (added the fact that I'm also fairly intelligent and talented) I wonder what would. when I look at myself in the morning, I don't see a girl who needs to get thin so people would say "wow!!!"; I see someone who can cheer people up whenever they want it, i see a person who is liked by most (one cant please all). One who (as someone pointed out) cant be forgotten easily.
I guess it all boils down to this... choice. If I decide to go on a crash diet with none of my kababs and occasional pizzas, and rigorous exercises, I'm sure in about 4 months I would be a "looker" with a perfect 26 waist. and the only 2 things that would change is the fact that I would get about 15 more people lusting after me, without knowing me. and I would be having boiled vegetables once a day and that's it. Which means more phone calls to avoid and less happiness for my stomach. I may be proud of the way I look, but (bugger) for how long would that last. Soon it would be time when I would be 30 and my looks would die out sooner than later. I would be groping at my own past with bags under my eyes for work stress.
The answer to all these questions does not lie in my irrelevant ramblings. it lies in the shallowness of wanting to be someone else. something else. being fit is different from being thin. Being beautiful is different from being fair. If that were the case, Jack Black, Queen Latifa, Luther Vandross, Barry White, The Mamas and The Papas, Elton John, they wouldnt sell, they would be sitting at home making crazy plans about getting thin to fit into the so called "make them look better" industry. Cause that's where they belong.
What does it matter??? you want to feel better?? I would much rather have a chocolate than feel low for being fat and not fair... if you yourself discriminate against yourself, and put yourself down, there is no one in this universe who can make you feel better, no matter how many pounds you lose, or how much fair and lovely helps your cause. being fat in no way hampers you unless you make it.
Long back I read something... just quoting from there...
"she was beautiul, not too pretty, but beautiful"